The one with the Ramblings

It is so not right to categorize your patients. Difficult? Manjalitis? Kurang Kasih Sayang? Compliant? "That" patient? Ya I know. And I do know that we are not suppose to favor patient as well. Because we are professional who work with good etiquette; not to be bias or biatch. However, when I have someone whom I have been managing for quite sometimes, and he has been a very good patient in term of compliant and courtesy (plus cute =P), I can't stop myself from having this feeling. Feeling? Feeling that I'm going to miss him so much. Knowing that my ward rounds will be dull without him. I am talking about an old gentleman, who has been in the hospital more or less A YEAR!!!..Yup..He has a TB and for his case it is tricky to manage. As if it has been mutated to a new strain. Because of that, he has been in the hospital (Kapit and Sibu) for nearly 1 year. If you meet him, he looks like a very healthy strong Ibanese. He doesn't look sick. But...Sigh.. Always tease hi...

random pic..this is not errica.. Past 2 days, i had a surprise encounter with someone i know and miss so much...E rica Rendey Remember her? Yes, she was a young Ibanese girl who was admitted to Kuching last time for neutropenic sepsis. A very clever girl who amazed me with her imitation of me taking her blood. Yup!! what a small world after all!!... She is here in Kapit!!!... She came with cough and flu. Not ill enough for admission. She now has hair!!!..but still the same Errica Rendey who doesn't like to be touch. Oh how I miss her big eyes. But that they, she did not put on any make up like she used too. I flipped through her cancer book. Its a book that every cancer patient has that show their progression. What have been done and will be done. Then, I was speechless. Despite her look that day, healthy look, sweet and cute, the truth is she has been suffering a lot. The condition was not that good. She has relapses. Involving the brain and the blood. Still requiring chemo. And s...

Dumbfounded when a patient told me " I do have chest pain after been scolded by you". Cynical huh. Annoying to me. I may have tell you this thousands and millions time and it becomes boring. There goes Wani again rambling about the same thing. But the reality is, the same thing happen here in my life. Like a repeated Deja Vu but with different person. I do have good insight about it that my job is killing my soul slowly. Wondering what was my replied? "Good, because I have it all the time whenever i meet person like you" Irritable, grumpy, frustating, or in simpler universal word; bitchy. I hate the sound of the clinic's door whenever a patient enters I felt despise. I hate the word "subak" or in other world "long time ago" because i can't define how long you have been having it. I hate the word "mimit" or " a little bit" because i can't define the severity of your illness I hate the word "semua pedis" or...

I don't blame you 100%, even though you are one of the factor. Most of it is because of ME. I remember how enthusiastic I was when I first started being a medical officer. New place, new life, new people. The road that I have chosen maybe bumpy sometime but what is life without an adventure. So motivated. So thrill. Then I do remember that I told my friend once to ask me again in next 2months. If she asks me now, I mean, like really at this moment, the answer will be a straight NO. Seriously, my works right now demotivate me every single day. Day by day, I realized that I becoming more grumpy, denial and hopeless. How I wish that all the disease can come or presented exactly like in the books. Like how we have been taught. And how I wish taking history will be as simple as medical school as the patient will leads us the way to the diagnosis. Why real patients are so not like my stimulated patients in medical school? Taking history is really a pain in the arse. Especially from a sup...

my on call sucks It was OK in the beginning. I helped my friend to cover his ward this weekend. Besides I am on call hence I don't mind at all. My on call started with signing a death certificate for a patient who has been sick for a while and planned not for an active resuscitation. I got the feeling that it was not a good sign but I just ignore it. "Superstition la", I told myself. Around 5.30pm, I was just arrived at ER as they called me to review some of the patients there. Suddenly, they pushed 3 patients into the ER. The first one was a referral back from Sibu, patient was fine. Plan for admission. Not a problem at all. The second patient looked like a case of stroke. So, it wasn't a problem either. Stabilize him first overnight and can send to Sibu CM for CT brain. The third patient gave me a shock of a life!!! A young Indonesian man, alleged a timber camp accident, sustained injury at his right leg. It occurred at 9am and came to me at 530PM!!!!!..I got a bad ...

i experienced my first medivac ride yesterday. Thank God i made it. At first the feeling was...mixed. Excited, happy, nauseated, worried and then blank. I sent a text message to my close friends, and to know how they feel for me who is about to embark into a awesome scary journey. "Just to let you know that i love you so much and forgive me for all the stupid cute things that i have done. I'm saying this now because less than 1hr i;ll be in the medivac escorting a patient to Sibu!!! First time dude. So keep your eyes on d news. Love u all. Haha" That was exactly how i told them. Interesting. Here are their replies 1) "Jgn lupa amk gamba, ok =)" 2) " Jaga2 check helicopter tu.....cari lambang decepticon" 3) " Kau jgn mcm2, skali btol2.abis ko" Reading all these, making me love them more. Haha, they know me better than i do. The first one had faith in me and knew that i going to enjoy the ride The second one was a bit retarded but since the per...

Our trip (me and my brother) started after we watched the Argentina's victory against Korea. We took a bus from Kuching departed at 10pm. I could not really tell about the journey as i was sleeping through out the journey. Happily over Argentina's win. We arrived at Sibu's bus station earlier than expected. 5am. Then, we straight away went to the jetty. We took the earliest boat to Kapit which was at 545am. Then another 3hours trip to Kapit. There are 2 seats; 1st class is the one with air-conditioner and it was RM 30 and the other one is without and it cost RM 25. They showed Prince of Persia and I collapsed half way. Sometimes, if you are lucky, maybe they show porn in the boat. Kapit Like I said, it was a busy town with disproportionate numbers of cars, and people. Since we both were really tired from the longgggg journey, we quickly find a nearest hotel to check in. Don't aspect to find Hilton or Grand Continental even. We found new Rejang Inn. The express boat to K...

This is my first impression about Kapit. First impression. It is a small town with disproportionate number of people and cars. There were probably the whole people of Kapit in that town that day, shopping. I felt alienated. Either I was the alien or they were. Everyone speaks language I couldn't understand. I thought i was in Vietnam or Cambodia. This could not be Malaysia. How can a developing country like Malaysia still have places like this? I probably may need to stay at the shophouses as the Medical "Villa" was too exclusive that could only be reached by the Royal highness Limo. Hence, I've decided to drag Rushie to Kapit. Regardless what, Rushie needs to transform into Rushibot. Till now, my stay is still not confirm, pretty please i could have the shophouse. If not, then tent it is. Any treehouse available? That will do. Once Rushie's transformation is complete, then i can rent the bungalow by the hill and i could view Sungai Rejang from my bedroom window a...