The one with the Ramblings

january 2009 In O+G posting, as usual as being the normal depressed HO, complaining about life and questionings about needs. Febuary 2009 Happy Birthday to Raison detre. graduated from O+G. Bunch of friends came to Kuching. We had a blast of the lifetime. Hope other friends and family will come too. Another accomplished mission strike out from the the-things-we-want-to-do-in-Kuching-before-we-left's list and the been-there-done-that's list. March 2009 Me and Kakpah's most depressed moment. Our camera and laptops were stolen (hope the thief will be burn in hell, amin). Supported, and still supporting the Earth Hour. Enter Surgery posting and met hell lot of interesting patients and annoying bosses. April 2009 The in-love month. Major crush with Paul Walker because of Fast and Furious 4. In love with Hujan, the local band. Found new love to my baby compact LSR Lumix. mmmuahh. Phedophilia? me? I am not MJ. May 2009 Bako rocks. yes an0ther mission accomplished. Bought new ride,

ED bukannye holiday lagi. dengan sistem shift yang baru, (even though still ade sleep day), tak se-best dulu. kerje tetap kerja. rase tak sabar nak habis houseman, tapi tak sanggup nak jadi MO. best lagi jadi student. jom a balik medical school balik. tak pun jadi budak ni. hebat. dapat diagnosed influenza dengan cepatnye dan buat pembedahan dengan lajunya.. kawai.. aku rase aku kene stop tengok youtube and mula study. besok dah la ada megacode. boleh buat tak reti lagi depan komputer ni. and maybe i should start getting serious about my future. aku nak amik master ape? rase kagum dengan member yang dah amik exam master. finished part 1. dorang tau nak buat dengan kehidupan mereka. bukan macam aku. makan malam pun tak tau nak makan ape. inikan nak fikir pasal benda yang lagi 10-20tahun. ntahla labu...

Bile hati tak tau nak luahkan ape, dan otak terlalu berat untuk memikirkannya, perasan gundah gulana, tak keharuan tanpa haluan. Maka lihatlah mereka. Mungkinkah mereka dapat membantu?

forward peek behind then be happy what i have learned so far for the past 25 years of my life keep on walking forward look back once in a while and then you will smile and you will keep on walking enjoying every step who are they at your back; family, friends, surprising moments,bitter past, sweet memories. who are they in front of you; family, friends, moments and memories. am i regret now?...i guess its too late to talk about it. just use every single time you have and fulfill them wisely. besides, time is moving forward, never backward. don't be left behind. thank you to those who have celebrated my special day today. thank you. i am really flattered. i'll post the pics later. -done- family from my paternal side gave me a surprise birthday party..i lurve the pizzas...yummy sharing it with along and farhan my birthday breakfast made by my brother azmi Ibu bought me t-shirts so does Babah. Aman has not bought me anything yet so far but his presence alone enough to make me hap

I remember Ten years ago, i remember how i was into these guys, i was really into the movie, i was really into the comic. Today, i've decided to get crush again...fangurling time!!! When i was 10years old, i was into these comics like Alam Perwira and Pedang Setiawan (before i found Luffy and Gempak). A friend of mine would buy them every week and we took turn to read them at school. Then, they made it into live action (which i initially not too happy why they chosed Pedang Setiawan instead of Alam Perwira), i was estatic. These 2 guys had given me hope that there were still good-looking guys in this world. I lived in that dreams and hopes. Hence, my youth was not wasted. Today, i saw them again on the screen. They were not hots like before. They just gotten HOTTER!!...yea baby...They are old but HOT. Aaron Kwok(now 44 years old) never dissappoint me with his 6-packs abs and Ekin Cheng(a 42-year-old hottie) never fail to kill me with his cool look. Again, the world has regained my

for the first time, i feel so depress about manga. in bleach, shuhei the number 69-guy is dying? or worst.. dead? why? why they have to attack the handsome hot ones? why? what are you thinking Mr Kubo Tite san? you draw characters that are so good-looking and saliva-drooling so that you can kill them? nante? come on. in one piece. where the heck are those nakama from mugiwara pirates? where are zoro, sanji, usopp, choppa, frankie, nami, robin, Brooke? this is not the time to relax dude. come on people, the war has long started and we need to see some more intense action here. come back people. hayaku..hurry up. and where is that red haired Shank? what he is up to? get yourself a speed boat and bash the marine headquarters now!!. fairy tail. come on. everyone has a very bad past. i am sure everyone has at least a skeleton or two in their closet. now Gerard does look like he has repent from what he had done. even though the reason he acted like that because he has lost his memories. but

maybe i am a bit overreacting or exaggerating. but anyway. it did happened and i am here to brag about it. remember this story? ok the same specialist that complimented me (i think the only specialist that complimented me so far and even offered me to join anaest team when i graduate), still remembers me!!!...yeah... i had a patient with VERY difficult intubation. so we referred to anaest and he came. as usual and normal as he is. with his charm and dedication, he assessed the patient and at the same time taught me. initially i thought he might not recognized me (i was wearing a mask to protect others from my flu) but then before he left, he asked me this question? "so are you an MO now in ED?." (eh..do you still remember me?) "eh?...errr....no, i haven't finished my HO rotation Dr. i am still a mere houseman." "oh...see you again" and he smiled..(relieved? happy? or modesty?) what was that supposed to mean? should i be interested in anaest now? or sho

father and son next robin hood the red umbrella blue girl with the red beg the director of Limbang Hospital..hahaha can you tell what are they thinking? how's their feeling? hmmm...

orang cakap raya haji adalah untuk orang yang dah dapat haji. ada cakap raya haji atau raya korban adalah hari untuk mengkorbankan lembu dan kerbau yang ada. raya? ini raya haji kedua di Sarawak. last year family aku datang. hari ni, raya dengan jihah yang tengah melayan sedih dan duk tanya kat diri sendiri "kenapa aku tak balik?" secara berulang kali sambil menutup duka dengan mengemas rumah. ya betul, kemas rumah is one of the best way to handle stress and depression. hasilnye pun berbaloi baloi. (P/s :- bilik aku sekali?) rendang yang jihah buat semalam pun not bad.sedih aku tengok minah tu. tak pe jihah.ko ada aku. even though aku tak bawa ape2 impact pun. kak pah pulak decide untuk beraya dengan orang iban di kapit. minah tu ade je aktiviti. meninggalkan aku sendirian di sini. huh. takpe. takpe. raya bagi aku? aku bangun pun kul 10am (kunun nak beramah mesra dengan rakyat, plan nak g semayang raya la, jalan-jalan kat neighbourhood la.) semua terkubur disebabkan penangan

ish...dah lame tak buat kuiz untuk mengenal diri sendiri...terbace this in someone's blog..terpakse cube.. so here's the results - my personality is Harmony Seeking Idealist!!! THE TYPE Harmony-seeking Idealists are characterised by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings . They are warm-hearted persons by nature. (wah..kembng kuncup hidung aku..haha) They are sympathetic and understanding. (lagi???..udah udah la puji) Harmony-seeking Idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. They have a strong understanding of human nature and are often very good judges of character. But they are mostly reserved and confide their thoughts and feelings to very few people they trust. They are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism. (so true..it hurts until now...damn you) Harmony-seeking Idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. However, if reaching a certain target is very important to them they can assert themselves

i think this is the after effect of being alone too long and having too much time only for yourself causing a major self destruction. there are times you feel lost that you suddenly do not know what to do in your life. you feel like "i think i have enough" or "maybe i am comfortable with whatever i have now" hence you feel like you don't have to work so hard anymore. you feel discourage and demotivated. you feel like what else should i do. i have everything now. i am neither poor nor rich. i am indeed happy. i have basically achieved almost everything i wished for. without the help from Santa or Red Cross. i have no commitment for me to slave myself into. i just hope it will maintain to be this way forever. and you ended to spend the rest of your life being comfortable. but then again, don't you feel wasted? maybe your raison de'tre is for others surround you. your family. your love ones. the aunties at the Satok bridge. that young sweet girl at Indian

First of all, i am grateful and thankful that i am still alive and i am still in one piece. I am still able to type this entry in and still able to see, still able to walk around and orientated. i am still me. This all started with my ambitious, adventurous, up beat boss who forced us to climb mount Santubong. "you think being a doctor is difficult ha? then let's climb mount Santubong" yes. the cliche phrase he keeps on repeating. So we did. Yesterday. I was on sleepless night duty a day before. So you can sort of imagine my energy level at that time. A bit of stressful night with unpleasant encounter with my night duty MO. Macam biase la. ape principal? Play deaf and dumb. Patronization is your food in your life. Learn from your mistakes. 11 of us including Boss Chan. Me, Aza, Fara, Jas, Pangie, Yong Lee, Chen Ting, Ronald, Hui Chin and the 3rd time climber Mr Law Boon Tat. We left the hospital at around 8 and we started climbing at 830am. Tell you what. Even i am post n

this is the best version of canon rock i've ever heard. i've heard from JerryC, Mattrach (maybe new canon rock by MattRach also not that bad)..i think this cute guy is the best. the fingers are so smooth and beautiful!!!!... tell you what. youtube is addictive. you can't get enough of it everyday.

i made my review about this manga once in my old blog. Its here . i managed to catch up on reading this manga until now, what a relieve i must say. even better, they make it into anime. yatta ne. the storyline just great. the drawing is cute and the characters are so freely. initially i was reluctant though to read this manga. maybe i was disturbed by the characters which resembles some of the characters in one piece. besides, i was not a fan of Rave Master, another manga created by the same mangaka Hiro Mashima. but after reading it, Hiro-san prooved me wrong. it is just another original piece of his. (and there are few handsome characters as well like Gerard, Gray, Loki...ahhh...kakkoi). the anime is also nice. seiyuu for Natsu character also sounds so gentleman. is it me or my life just getting better. u can watch the online anime here - I'm Natsu the dragon slayer and read the manga here - Erza Scarlet is the most powerful woman mage ever exist still reading bleach and onepiec

this is to show that i spend most of my time browsing youtube. youtube rowks. and this kid just so adorable.

nak g osaka!!!....taknak kerje....nak pergi melancong je....jom! jom kite buat kat malaysia..sah kene hantar tanjung rambutan

ahhh...rindunye lifestyle zaman student dulu. boleh tengok CD jepun berjam-jam. tahan sampai pagi. ahh..rinduuuuu.... Sang Otak aka Mr Brain. alkisah seorang lelaki yang mempunyai kepintaran luar biasa menggunakan teori neuroscience untuk menyelesaikan kes-kes jenayah. hebat. pernah dengar pepatah 'try to be on my shoes'. bukanlah nak kata dia pakai kasut pembunuh itu. jejaka kacak bername takuya kimura or tsukumo ni pun cube memahami ape yang penjenayah itu fikirkan and from there cuba untuk menangkap penjenayah tersebut. lagi dia dibantu dengan assisstant yang cantik dan juga teknologi yang hebat sampai anda semua akan berkata..wow! sugoi... kenapa tengok cerite ni? 1) jalan cerite best. biase a jepun, dorang kan pandai bab suspen-suspender ni. aksi bunuh dorang agak ngeri. tapi tak se-ngeri battle royale, kill bill etc 2) HELLLOOO!!!...takuya kimura + mizushima hiro...hiro beb..tangkap leleh..ada Gackt pulak tu..ahhh...lelaki psycho yang kacak itu..malas la nak berdrama lebi

70 years old man, alleged RTA and sustained laceration wound of left lower lip. no LOC, no SOB, walked in to green zone comfortably. also complained of right shoulder pain and few abrasion wounds over legs and right arms. otherwise, no other complaint. no anemia symptoms. no abdominal pain, no chest pain, no headache. he also known case of HPT and DM on medications. on examination, alert. GCS 15/15. speak in full sentences. not tachypneoic. no stridor. SpO2 98% under room air. BP 190/100 heart rate 70bpm. lungs clear, equal air entry. CVS = DRNM. abdomen. soft non tender. no cervical tenderness, no spine tenderness. Hb 15, Hct 44 the lip. degloving injury of left lower lip. big clot on top of the wound. no oozing of blood but still bleeding. able to open his mouth. no foreign body noted. referred to plastic surgery MO for further management. plan for admission and to repair under anesthesia. half and hour later, (patient was not yet admitted to the ward, was sent to treatment room for

i like the red one...aka chan suki!!

akhirnya. posting yang ditunggu. posting yang paling penting. "daijin". penting. sebagai persiapan ke district. gambaruwa... tak dapat dinafikan. tak boleh argue. keje ikut shift memang best. ko boleh bangun lambat. keje 7jam sehari. best. best. contohnye. pagi ni aku dapat tengok kartun pukul 8am. punye la ketinggalan aku ni, sekarang ni rupenya ade powerpuff girls Z tu. hebat. oleh itu, aku kene bersemangat utk tgk kartun pagi2. especially kartun disney yg lame2 tu. masih ada ka?. oleh kerana itu juga, aku tengah merancang hidup aku supaya hidup aku lebih bermakna. banyak bende2 pending yang aku nak buat. aku harap waktu kat ED ni boleh la. haha.boleh ape? meronggeng? ya betul. japanilization starto. banyak anime nak di catch up. manga lagi. huah. banyak homework tu. bosses macam biasa a. name pun boss. mentang2 aku ni 5th poster. expectation mak aih kemain tinggi. macam gunung kinabalu. everest? apa makcik. ingat aku dah buat posting medical aku dah bijak macam physician k

one good thing about photography is that there'll be no stranger. it makes you brave. you are not shy to say hi. their reactions are priceless. it shows their real emotions beautifully. indeed life is interesting.

i want to say goodbye to:- 1) Nicholas - 4month old boy with heart disease. don't be naughty. don't get angry with your dad or you will have bronchospasm again. don't make your mom worries. she always wanted to go back to Bintulu. say hi to your brother Petrus. he must be as cute as you too. get well soon. grow up well to become a good and handsome kid. 2) Errica - keep on being the cutest girl ever. be optimistic always. don't forget to put your make up on. i know, you are pretty. hope with the bone marrow transplant you are getting now, you will get better. when you have your hair again soon, you'll become even prettier. 3) Michael - holding on. hope you will still survive in the care of your dummy parents. please remember, not everything in this world are bad. there are good things about this world you should know. hope you will be able to grow a bit longer to get to know that. 4) I/O Nor ak Kato aka Stanley - if you live through this then you should be grateful

-rambling starto!!!!- i went to a journey. long winding exciting journey. to find my light rail so call. or whatever it is. i didn't have high expectation though. my hope is that i might find something about something. i might learn something. to see something or anything with a new perspective. so that something might awaken anything in myself and become something good. i'm looking for those somethings. sounds complicated?..make it easy. i was in the windy mood that day due to stress accumulation up till toxic level. the journey wasn't that bad. it was quite relaxing. i've finally found peace even for that few hours with Rushie. at the end of the journey was a spectacular village. i found it interesting. BUT... when i reached there. then i just walk for a few minutes then..i decided to drive back to Kuching. initially i was fine with that. i was indeed a bit tired so i didn't mind. untilll..... the next day, i woke up, i suddenly feel disappointed. Baka yaro wanich