ignore this

i think this is the after effect of being alone too long and having too much time only for yourself causing a major self destruction.

there are times you feel lost that you suddenly do not know what to do in your life. you feel like "i think i have enough" or "maybe i am comfortable with whatever i have now" hence you feel like you don't have to work so hard anymore. you feel discourage and demotivated. you feel like what else should i do. i have everything now. i am neither poor nor rich. i am indeed happy. i have basically achieved almost everything i wished for. without the help from Santa or Red Cross. i have no commitment for me to slave myself into. i just hope it will maintain to be this way forever. and you ended to spend the rest of your life being comfortable. but then again, don't you feel wasted? maybe your raison de'tre is for others surround you. your family. your love ones. the aunties at the Satok bridge. that young sweet girl at Indian street. the stray cats in front of your house. your lonely internet buddy. maybe it will be more meaningful to also help others to be as comfortable as you are. as happy as you are. and your life will be more interesting. isn't it right? is it possible? maybe i may put this as one of my Bucket's list. haha.

end of rambling

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