The one with the Ramblings

Just open a new blog specially for Japan trip...Am i too excited??....hell yeah I am.. Check it out will ya..http://ikutsukela.blogspot.com/

Dumbfounded when a patient told me " I do have chest pain after been scolded by you". Cynical huh. Annoying to me. I may have tell you this thousands and millions time and it becomes boring. There goes Wani again rambling about the same thing. But the reality is, the same thing happen here in my life. Like a repeated Deja Vu but with different person. I do have good insight about it that my job is killing my soul slowly. Wondering what was my replied? "Good, because I have it all the time whenever i meet person like you" Irritable, grumpy, frustating, or in simpler universal word; bitchy. I hate the sound of the clinic's door whenever a patient enters I felt despise. I hate the word "subak" or in other world "long time ago" because i can't define how long you have been having it. I hate the word "mimit" or " a little bit" because i can't define the severity of your illness I hate the word "semua pedis" or

Sigh.... Sometimes, if you plan a lot in your life, to the point you are afraid of not able to commit all of them, it will make you feel depress. Not planning at all in your life, could be adventurous but yet risky and make you feel anxious. For instance, planning to get serious in your career by taking master program. Good. The question is when? which one? and suddenly you back out and said "maybe i am not ready" Planning to go holidays, around the world. Fantasy but do able. But the problem is when? where? "maybe i save my money for my family" Not planning to settle down. Put my trust on faith and miracle 100%. It is adventurous and fun but until when? Not planning your finance for you future. I feel so stupid. but again, it made me think. What exactly i save my money for in the future? I need money now!! To plan a plan is sick. I hate plan. But not planning make me insecure. That's why i day dream. Where everything is possible. Sigh. If I plan to day dream? I

Raya!!!!!!!!!! Seperti raya sebelum ni, duit dalam akaun aku akan turun mendadak. Disebabkan these evil minions. Few things too highlight about this raya. Actually lots of things. 1) cuti seminggu mmg tak berbaloi. one whole day dah habis utk travel SAHAJA. 3hours dlm boat. 45minutes dalam taxi and 2hours 15min dlm plane. pastu 1hour dlm kete. sampai2 dah penat. hai. lain kali balik kene mintak lebih sket. tapi still bersyukur. tak seperti mereka yang lain yang kerje di waktu raya terutamanya yg kat semenanjung. huhu. sape suh tak keje kat sabah sarawak. 2) Beraya di rumah baru!!!...a bit weird in the beginning. sebab dah 25 tahun kat rumah lama, bile dah buat rumah baru, rasa lain sket. not feeling homie YET. Suke rumah baru. tapi merindui rumah lama. I miss the squeaking sounds of the floor once you step on it. the smell of the wooden walls. every little memories in it. 3) Mama has improved a lot...she can walk now with few steps and her words make more sense...congratz mama..keep i

I don't blame you 100%, even though you are one of the factor. Most of it is because of ME. I remember how enthusiastic I was when I first started being a medical officer. New place, new life, new people. The road that I have chosen maybe bumpy sometime but what is life without an adventure. So motivated. So thrill. Then I do remember that I told my friend once to ask me again in next 2months. If she asks me now, I mean, like really at this moment, the answer will be a straight NO. Seriously, my works right now demotivate me every single day. Day by day, I realized that I becoming more grumpy, denial and hopeless. How I wish that all the disease can come or presented exactly like in the books. Like how we have been taught. And how I wish taking history will be as simple as medical school as the patient will leads us the way to the diagnosis. Why real patients are so not like my stimulated patients in medical school? Taking history is really a pain in the arse. Especially from a sup