Dear Mama

OK After almost 1 year, i think i am ready Ready to write about her. The Most Amazing Woman I ever had.
Jaharah Abdullah Mama

During Mama's 90th Birthday
Maybe i was wrong. I thought i will be ready but i cried instantly when i chose these pictures. I miss her sooo much. Her touch, her laugh, her hug, her smile. Now, i will tell you all about Mama and why she is so missed. 
1. Jarah Tukang Sanggul- the most famous person in Rembau  Bila orang tanya aku " Kau orang mano?", i would say " orang Rembau". Orang tu akan tanya lagi " Laa, anak sapo?" So here, i would have few answers. Some may know me as "anak Cikgu Zedz". Who wouldn't know the most fierce and legendary Disciplinary teacher of URESS, who had dope afro hair and rode on white Toyota Cellica. My father was once the original "Tall-Dark-and-Handsome". The original. KJ stole that title from him.  If he/she still doesn't know my father, probably some may know my mom. Say…


Penat kalau tak ikhlas nak jaga hati orang
Terpaksa bermuka muka muka
it is not my nature to be all smiley and nice. For those who knows me at work, tau la macam mana aku. Muka mak tiri, pengawas, bitch-face. But i can be warm and bubbly to in certain occasion contoh kat rumah with family, with Jimbo and when i travel abroad especially Japan.
so kalau tetibe terbalik aku kat tempat kerja aku all smiley, then must be very careful. I am not myself.
Here i have to fake it. terpakse buat muka baik. sebab nak berkat. dorang kan cikgu. tapi dalam hati berapi2 tahan marah.
sekali sekala boleh tahan lagi. if kalau dah selalu aku rasa penat and rasa nak rebel. once rebel then it is end of the day la. no turning back. i don't want that to happen just yet. biar pass exam dulu.

takpe la korang tak paham. yang penting i need to get this uneasy feeling out from me. i need an escape supaya keadaan kembali neutral and steady. i need to get back to nature again.

or i can just hug Jimbo. tap…

Humble (Kendrik Lamar)

1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2.For each question, press the next button to get your answer 3.YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
I just wanna try this to feed my curiosity.. and Ridiculous things starts now!!

1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? CD Bagasi Honey (Pretty Ugly) = Motto kalau nak beli CD kat Honey kena bagi sekali dengan Bagasi. paham?!
2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Random Awesomeness (Yuna) = Actually always awesome tapi dorang segan la tu nak ngaku
3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Be Strong (Mr Children) = Kuat dan tabah untuk menghadapi cabaran kehidupan..hnshh
4.WHAT IS 2+2? Bitter Heart (Zee Avi) = sebab benda ni pun nak tanye ke? 2+2= 3+1. tu pun tak tau. 
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Rock and Roll Lights Fall on You (Asian Kung Fu Generation) = you girls are rocks!! 
6.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Consequential Lovers (Bo) = hahahahahahaha. i'm a playaaa
7.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? That's What I Like (Brun…


Aku tabik kepada mereka2 yang masih aktif berblogging. Syabas.
Aku? 2tahun sekali baru nak update. Blogging sebenarnya lagi best dari rant kat facebook or Insta. aku rase lebih tersusun dan panjang lagi nak dibebelkan. cuma perlukan comittment. something yang aku takleh nak offer sekarang. Nak kata hidup busy sgt tak jugak. Perasaannya:- guilty. Sebab banyak benda lagi kau nak buat contohnya baca journals and buku and taip case report. so bila kau ada masa nak update blog tapi kau nye case report discussion dari 3bulan lepas tak siap2 lagi, apa maksudnya itu?


Alasan je. Nak seribu daya, taknak seribu dalih.

Banyak aku nak ceritakan. Travel blog pun tak tertulis lagi. Nak jugak berkongsi pengalaman travel supaya dapat memberi idea untuk traveller lain.
Nak jugak cerita pasal movie review dengan lebih detail. setakat review kat Facebook, takleh nak cerita panjang sgt. Nanti spoiler banyak sgt. Aku tau blog ni takde orang baca. haha
Nak cerita pasal Mama. Yup, she's gone. Susah…


On my way to work this morning, i listened to a very interesting topic brought up by the DJs from This guy called up and was very frustrated when the girl that he likes uttered something that was too damaging that his heart and his mind couldn't  take it.....she called him 'bro'
That is like even worse than friend-zone
For some girls it just a gesture saying that you are comfortable with him. Maybe she mistakenly say it or maybe she really meant you as a brother. 
For me. Terminologically is correct. Bro-zone is something you can't break out from. It is like no turning back. Once you in the zone, you'll be like forever a bro. When you think it may turn otherwise, the girl may think like 'woaa that like an incest or something.. Sorry can't do BRO'
And even worse, a friend is someone she will come to if she has any problems and like no one come to a family like a brother if a girl has an issue..especially boys issue.. Am i right? Ha…

Aunty Papa

Al fatihah

Of all the days that have passed, today reminded me of her again.
She left us more than 2months ago. The greatest aunt, the most inspirational woman i ever met, my idol.
We were not as closed as you imagine it would be. We only hang out when i came back home and that would be during raya or other festives holidays. My knowledge about her is as little as how i know about Angelina Jolie. But yet, she is the woman i wish i could be. My aunt i mean, not Angie.
When i was little, i looked at her as super rich aunt. The one who always pull bigger notes like rm50 from her wallet for duit raya. I got no lesser than that. And what impressed me more is that i have a large family, i have like 20over cousins more or less around my age and she gave them all duit raya. Her wallet was like Mary Poppin's bag vomit out cash. 
Not only that, she once gave me US coins when she came back from well duh US. I was thrilled and super excited!! Like wow, she went to US!! That was like trillion miles…


Exam lagi less than 90days!!! Where is the panic button?? Where is the panic button??? Kenapa perlu study lagi? Kan dah elok2 jadi doktor..kan cari nahas ambik master..kan dah kene kenapa?? Kenapa??? Learning is a continuous process..people should and will not stop learning.. If i don't take this master program, i will forever be medical officer...which is not as bad...but you won't progress... Be a surgeon and there are lots of evolution in surgery and medicine in general that you will realize...and that makes you feel "this world is created by the awesomest of all..the almighty Allah". Yup, this is not only about the salary i will get, the skill, knowledge in which indirectly make me closer to Him.. So, continue to learn and never stop learning. . There are lots of world mysteries still not known then explore... Ok..chapter 2- neurophysiology