why a?

few days ago, i received a surprise phone call from a friend. not a usual friend, more or less an old colleague. She was a doctor and we worked together when we both in medical posting. it was awkward because we don't really close; ie we never had a lunch together last time and we didn't really tell stories to each other and receiving a phone call from her after more or less 1 year after that, it was kinda weird. anyway, we went out for a lunch.

she is happy. she made the best decision of her life, that's what she said. she feels more freedom and it is the kind of the lifestyle that she wants. i am happy for her.

i felt fishy though and i was right. end up that the lunch was for a piece of favor she needs for her work. to be the guests in her up coming project thingy that involves something like nutrition and diet. pity her. it was a major mistake she did because she was asking a wrong person from the beginning. i don't do diet. i don't really care about my health and how am i going to talk about it to other people. but of all the talks and chats, there was a question she asked that struck me though.

" have you achieved the things you've dream up till now?"

answer: hmmm...more or less.. i don't know. as far as i remember, i was a very naive kid before. whenever people asked me "what do you want to be when you grow up?" the answer always "a doctor". other than that, i don't really think of it. so what if you have bec0me a doctor, what will you do? hmmm..

i imagined myself as the unmarried, old lady doctor that will travel around the world. because i think that is cool. bring my family along of course. but the reality? i might end up with an arranged marriage from my parents and stuck in the hospital until i retire. what else i want to achieve in my life? i don't know. i am happy of what i'm doing now. despite all the stress and pressure, i am pretty comfortable of what i am doing now. i'll live through it.

i love both my life now, the one in the hospital and the one after that. but i like to keep it this way. work is work, play is play. when you are working, you will always think of your family. to give the best care and service to those in needs. but after that, i prefer not to think about work. because that is the time for me to spoil myself. for me to enjoy my other life. doing things i want with no worries. to see life in different perspectives.

how about you?

i watched the news today which i do once in a blue moon. they talked about politics bla bla bla and also about the H1N1 outbreak. to be honest, i don't really know about the virus. the new updates, the latest vaccine et cetera. it is not that i don't care. it just the laze. pity me. quite a killer though. already killed 99peoples world wide. that's scary. but it is still under control. that's what i read in WHO. so take care of yourself people. me too.

i met the burn patient again yesterday. in fact, i have to see him everyday. he doesn't look good. but the same question i'll ask myself;

"what have you done wrong boy?"

remember if you watch those dramas, whenever those dying people suffering and can't die, there must be something he or she did in the past. and the only thing that can release the pain is the forgiveness from the person he or she has a problem with. cannot die unless the mother forgives him. or he cannot die until the lover comes to see for him to say the 3 words. I Love You. what if? hmmm...again, to much drama. haha..pray for the best for him.

(P/S : the burn patient died peacefully yesterday..May Allah Bless him.. Amin)