love is indeed blind

I 100% agree to the above statement. love is blind. and today, love is the air baby.

remember about the boy i in love with. who captured my heart by his charms and cuteness and his cute giggles. yes, that boy. a 4-year-old Iban boy from Sibu who was admitted for hypospadias repair. his name is A.

i received a message from a friend yesterday, a day after i left paed surgical ward. that boy wanted to see me. looking for me during the rounds asking "mana kawan saya?". i was flattered. so cute. i planned to see him actually on that day but because i was oncall and i was in OT until 1am, when i went to the ward, i saw him sleeping with his mom.

today, i decided to visit him since today. the moment i entered the ward, i shouted "KAWAN!!". there he was, smiled at me wearing a blue t-shirt, not the hospital attire. a bit odd and i was wondering myself why. i saw there were few bags next to his bag looked well kept and packed. i realized, he was planned to be discharged that day. thank God i came.

A: "kawan!!!, ke mana kamu? saya cari kamu"
he spread his arms and give me a warm hug. he could walk and in fact he ran to me. his mother told me how he had been looking for me for the past 2 days. "Mana kawan saya?". this is what he reacted to my question when i asked "kamu tidak mahu kawan dengan doktor lain ka?"

"Tidak, saya tidak mahu kawan dengan mereka. saya mahu kawan dengan kamu sahaja. kamu saja kawan saya"
my heart melted. i remembered last time when i did the morning review, he just woke up from sleep and i asked him "kamu mimpi apa malam tadi?", he gave me the answer that if he is now 30years old, i propbably had my knee down and asked him to marry me. his answer was "mimpi kamu la". >smile<>
we had the best conversations ever. i told him that i want to go with him to Sibu and would he let me stay at his house. he said "tidak boleh, kamu kene duduk dekat hospital sahaja". intepretation:- this relationship might not going that far. huhu..kidding

the other question i asked him. "kamu mahu jadi ape bila besar nanti?"
he answered "saya mahu jadi pilot, nanti boleh bawa kamu naik belon saya." and he was really thrilled of that idea. i was laughing really hard looking him frantic and happy and the truth is, i am happy too.

of all the kids i have seen and met, he is the most charming kids ever. i spent nearly 1hour with him today, we played and talked. his reactions was priceless. his thinking was superb. his imagination and creativity. when i was about to leave, i felt so sad. i wish he will still be there for at least another a day or two. to have more time with him. since now he could walk, maybe we can walk around together. arghh, i really miss him already.

this is probably the reward that only people like doctors get. it is more valuable then money. don't get me wrong, not the relationship i am talking about. what i am trying to say is the feelings of satisfaction. to be able to see those people we have been taking care of, those we treated and to see them get better and happy. it is the nicest feeling ever. (i wish the other kid in that ward can be discharged as well in few days).

see, i am not a phedophilia. it is just an honest feeling of love. see you again A. in other occasion. definitely not in the hospital.