A new beginning


This is about me and strawberry

I don't like strawberry. Never Ever.
Hate strawberry flavor milkshake or ice cream or cake.
If you ask me why? I think it would be because of how people relate strawberry and girl.
"You drink strawberry milkshake? that is so gay"
And I am not gay or girly or sissy.
Hence I hate it.
Besides, the taste is weird (ate a strawberry flavor Dutch Lady milk before and I vomited once I drank it)
So, the point is, me and strawberry is a big NO.

For my last year family trip to Pahang, we visited a strawberry farm. You know, the errr what do you call it as a must-do or must-eat thingy in a trip? For example like if you go to Penang, you MUST eat Nasi Kandar. If not, you can't say that you have been to Penang. Or go to Kuching, Sarawak and you MUST take a picture at the cat statue in the middle of the city. So, I thought that since I was in a STRAWBERRY farm, I MUST eat a strawberry and I have to prove it or people will say I lied about it. (Yup, somehow I do live in other people's expectations).

I was in the middle of personality crisis. Pride- I don't want to be called sissy for eating strawberry and at the same time, I don't want to regret for not trying a strawberry fresh from the farm. In the end, I swallowed not only one but few strawberries together with my big EGO. And?? I still don't like it. I mean the taste. It still tasted weird but I never regret it. It was a great experience to actually did it!! I was proud of myself. For able to "change" myself by challenged me to try to do new thing and by put my ego down, and for once in a while, not to care about what people will think about what you do but what will you think about yourself in the future. Big pat on my back. But that attitude doesn't last long. It left behind in Genting and will only show up once in a while.

I wonder why? I wonder why can't I sustain to have that kind of attitude. So what if I am looking what my Raison is in my life? Will it make me happier? Where am I suppose to be fit in? How my real character suppose to be? Why should I care about all these? Why I need to prove to people how normal I am when I can be slightly not normal? So what if I am different?

So, I want to be the girl that ate that strawberry. Forget about why I am here, lets cherish all the things I have now, live the life I am in now and work it with no regret. Lets be more optimistic and keep that positive thinking with me 24/7.

No more wanibaka (WaniBaka means Wani Stupid. Lets be Wani. Just wani)
NO more Raison Detre.
Lets be the girl who ate that strawberry...

All the best to me!!

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