motivatedly depress




Perasaan sekarang....motivated but depress...

Found out my boss's books collection

Motivated = looking at all the books he has read and how he has become now, I become semangat. I feel like want to buy all the books he recommended and read them now!. I wish that one day I can have an intelligent arguments with him. Try to prove that he is wrong and I am right.  I know he is really good. It makes everything simple and makes sense. He cleared my blurring mind. In fact, make all the screwing and torturing worth it. He is my next Dato' Kanda.  So when he gave the statement that I take him loosely that hurt a bit. I know that he can't be unpredictable but I really look up to him. I respect him a lot. He deserves it.

Depress =  I know the path that I will take is not easy. Not going to be easier. It will be like a road to hell. Seeing how much he has read to get to where he is now make me wonder, what the hell I was doing for the past 7 years in med school and HOship? And still nak berangan to be at his level. What if I can't take the stress? Will I survive?


His books are all well kept.
Mine?
Scattered next to my bed. 
 Not that I read them daily.
I watch reruns of FRIENDS, Simpsons and One Piece everyday.


What the hell la...

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