The one with the Ramblings

OK After almost 1 year, i think i am ready Ready to write about her. The Most Amazing Woman I ever had. Jaharah Abdullah Mama During Mama's 90th Birthday Maybe i was wrong. I thought i will be ready but i cried instantly when i chose these pictures. I miss her sooo much. Her touch, her laugh, her hug, her smile. Now, i will tell you all about Mama and why she is so missed.  1. Jarah Tukang Sanggul- the most famous person in Rembau  Bila orang tanya aku " Kau orang mano?", i would say " orang Rembau". Orang tu akan tanya lagi " Laa, anak sapo?" So here, i would have few answers. Some may know me as "anak Cikgu Zedz". Who wouldn't know the most fierce and legendary Disciplinary teacher of URESS, who had dope afro hair and rode on white Toyota Cellica. My father was once the original "Tall-Dark-and-Handsome". The original. KJ stole that title from him.  If he/she still doesn't know my father,...

Penat kalau tak ikhlas nak jaga hati orang Terpaksa bermuka muka muka it is not my nature to be all smiley and nice. For those who knows me at work, tau la macam mana aku. Muka mak tiri, pengawas, bitch-face. But i can be warm and bubbly to in certain occasion contoh kat rumah with family, with Jimbo and when i travel abroad especially Japan. so kalau tetibe terbalik aku kat tempat kerja aku all smiley, then must be very careful. I am not myself. Here i have to fake it. terpakse buat muka baik. sebab nak berkat. dorang kan cikgu. tapi dalam hati berapi2 tahan marah. sekali sekala boleh tahan lagi. if kalau dah selalu aku rasa penat and rasa nak rebel. once rebel then it is end of the day la. no turning back. i don't want that to happen just yet. biar pass exam dulu. takpe la korang tak paham. yang penting i need to get this uneasy feeling out from me. i need an escape supaya keadaan kembali neutral and steady. i need to get back to nature again. bila? or i can just hug...

1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2.For each question, press the next button to get your answer 3.YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! I just wanna try this to feed my curiosity.. and Ridiculous things starts now!! 1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? CD Bagasi Honey (Pretty Ugly) = Motto kalau nak beli CD kat Honey kena bagi sekali dengan Bagasi. paham?! 2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Random Awesomeness (Yuna) = Actually always awesome tapi dorang segan la tu nak ngaku 3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Be Strong (Mr Children) = Kuat dan tabah untuk menghadapi cabaran kehidupan..hnshh 4.WHAT IS 2+2? Bitter Heart (Zee Avi) = sebab benda ni pun nak tanye ke? 2+2= 3+1. tu pun tak tau.  5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Rock and Roll Lights Fall on You (Asian Kung Fu Generation) = you girls are rocks!!  6.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Consequential Lovers (Bo) = hahahahahah...

Aku tabik kepada mereka2 yang masih aktif berblogging. Syabas. Aku? 2tahun sekali baru nak update. Blogging sebenarnya lagi best dari rant kat facebook or Insta. aku rase lebih tersusun dan panjang lagi nak dibebelkan. cuma perlukan comittment. something yang aku takleh nak offer sekarang. Nak kata hidup busy sgt tak jugak. Perasaannya:- guilty. Sebab banyak benda lagi kau nak buat contohnya baca journals and buku and taip case report. so bila kau ada masa nak update blog tapi kau nye case report discussion dari 3bulan lepas tak siap2 lagi, apa maksudnya itu? haha Alasan je. Nak seribu daya, taknak seribu dalih. Banyak aku nak ceritakan. Travel blog pun tak tertulis lagi. Nak jugak berkongsi pengalaman travel supaya dapat memberi idea untuk traveller lain. Nak jugak cerita pasal movie review dengan lebih detail. setakat review kat Facebook, takleh nak cerita panjang sgt. Nanti spoiler banyak sgt. Aku tau blog ni takde orang baca. haha Nak cerita pasal Mama. Yup, she's g...

Terminology On my way to work this morning, i listened to a very interesting topic brought up by the DJs from Fly.fm. This guy called up and was very frustrated when the girl that he likes uttered something that was too damaging that his heart and his mind couldn't  take it.....she called him 'bro' Bro-zone... That is like even worse than friend-zone For some girls it just a gesture saying that you are comfortable with him. Maybe she mistakenly say it or maybe she really meant you as a brother.  For me. Terminologically is correct. Bro-zone is something you can't break out from. It is like no turning back. Once you in the zone, you'll be like forever a bro. When you think it may turn otherwise, the girl may think like 'woaa that like an incest or something.. Sorry can't do BRO' And even worse, a friend is someone she will come to if she has any problems and like no one come to a family like a brother if a girl has an issue..especially boys issue.. Am i r...

Al fatihah Of all the days that have passed, today reminded me of her again. She left us more than 2months ago. The greatest aunt, the most inspirational woman i ever met, my idol. We were not as closed as you imagine it would be. We only hang out when i came back home and that would be during raya or other festives holidays. My knowledge about her is as little as how i know about Angelina Jolie. But yet, she is the woman i wish i could be. My aunt i mean, not Angie. When i was little, i looked at her as super rich aunt. The one who always pull bigger notes like rm50 from her wallet for duit raya. I got no lesser than that. And what impressed me more is that i have a large family, i have like 20over cousins more or less around my age and she gave them all duit raya. Her wallet was like Mary Poppin's bag vomit out cash.  Not only that, she once gave me US coins when she came back from well duh US. I was thrilled and super excited!! Like wow, she went to US!! That was like trillion m...

Exam lagi less than 90days!!! Where is the panic button?? Where is the panic button??? Kenapa perlu study lagi? Kan dah elok2 jadi doktor..kan cari nahas ambik master..kan dah kene study...so kenapa?? Kenapa??? Learning is a continuous process..people should and will not stop learning.. If i don't take this master program, i will forever be medical officer...which is not as bad...but you won't progress... Be a surgeon and there are lots of evolution in surgery and medicine in general that you will realize...and that makes you feel "this world is created by the awesomest of all..the almighty Allah". Yup, this is not only about the salary i will get, the skill, knowledge in which indirectly make me closer to Him.. So, continue to learn and never stop learning. . There are lots of world mysteries still not known yet..so then explore... Ok..chapter 2- neurophysiology

ini gambar raya aidil adha tahun 2007 Selamat hari raya!!! dah lepas dah pun Raya aidil adha aka raya haji tahun ni aku buat keputusan dengan macho nye tak nak balik Alasan yang kukuh termasuk 1) raya aidil fitri aka raya puasa aritu aku dah cuti panjang..walaupun kena balik 3hari raya tu aku still rasa aku cuti panjang kalau nak compare kan dengan batchmate aku yang lain...kesimpulannya..rasa bersalah la kalau raya kali ni pun aku nak cuti panjang kan...agak2 la...be considerate orang kata...sapa kata?..orang la. 2) orang cakap raya haji kat kelantan ni meriah..meriah ke?...meh aku nak try sikit...orang kata la...sapa kata?...ada la orang... So...aku pun tak balik...raya la aku sorang2 kat sini...Shahira aka housemate aku pun takda...balik Penang beranak (omedeto!!!!.) Aku dijadualkan untuk oncall pada hari sabtu, iaitu a day before raya...tak kesah pun sebenarnya...Firman (my very cool registra), bersungguh2 nak aturkan jadual oncall dengan harapan at least a...

done!!!! Akhirnya siap copy paste and creat another blog. a travelogue. tujuan? motif? 1) untuk rujukan sendiri pada masa hadapan 2) untuk rujukan mereka yang lain yang mana tau nak baca blog ni 3) untuk simpanan sendiri supaya senang nak baca balik kot2 terlupa ka.. so kalau nak baca past travel stories and upcoming sila la melawat klik kat link kat bawah ni...ni..bawah ni je.. Wani suka sangat jalan-jalan actually banyak cerita pasal kuching yang tak diceritakan and banyak pasal pengembaraan Zedzians tak cerita jugak..walaupun hanya di PD je pun... takpe2...nanti penulis akan tuliskan semuanya...hehe..nampak sangat penulis ni teramat relax kat KB ni.. buku banyak tak baca lagi ni dik ooiii...poor insight betul iklan sekejap.....gambar ngan jejaka jambu di shibuya...hehehe kalau cerita pasal travel ni...masing2 ada style dorang sendiri, ada pendapat sendiri ada yang plan travel masa muda2 dikala masih sihat ni..sok dah tua takleh nak travel (aku di golon...

I am not sure whether the writer himself or herself reads whatever he or she wrote in journals or blogs, but i just did. I read again the writings i posted since this all started. I noticed. It was fun. I had good times writing them. Despite the bad things that had happened. I should be writing again.  Not that i expect anyone to read it. At least for me to read them again. The memories I had and the feelings when i was housemanship, all came back into my mind right now. How I was started determined and full with passions, and how it fluctuated when stresses came, and how i bounced back to how i should be. Since i have lots of time here in KB, and hopefully the internet lines here is faster enough for me to tolerate, just lets start ramblings. there are lots of pending travelogue to share. 1) Japan 2) India 3) Kinabalu 4) Road trip to eastcoast I think I should start with all the travelogue, and probably later on about the best foods that Kelantan can offer (definitely ...

New hospital, new bosses, new life. First day at work.... ~blurrrr~ I came as early as 7am (if it is in kuching, this considered late, but bosses want to meet us at 8am soo 7am is considered very early)..nervous, anxious..but unfortunately i couldn't get in because i didn't have my matrix card to open the door..damn..so i wandering around the blocks..it is huge...really huge...i always get lost, all the times, till today... first day, I have only 4 patients..yup...4!! and I have 3 housemen...yup..3!!! everything is new, clinic,,OTs The pace is slower compared to Kuching, which is very good because it give you ample time to study StuDY!!!!...yup...i have to start now, stat!..after found out that only 3 out of 14 candidates pass the recent exam, damn this is no joke..i have to be consistent!! Bosses are great, registra are very helpful..maybe because i was not that use to a slow pace working environment like this so i become agitated most of the times. I havent ...

Finally i wave goodbye to Kuching 2 years of housemanship 1year plus in district 3years in surgical department banyak pahit manis payau masam masin memories kat kuching ni. In term of work, relationship, dan emosi diri sendiri. Kesimpulannya...Kuching memang the best!! Workwise Surgeons memang awesome. Especially Mr Nik Azim. Seorang yg humble and holistic in treating his patients. Setakat ni, dialah HOD and surgeon paling baik aku pernah work with. Alkisahnya " Due to many factors; family la, since incident arwah azri, since kapit incident, semua sum up to, buat apa nak buat baik kat orang. diri sendiri and family pun tak terbela. so masa tu i lost confident in humanity in general and being a surgeon is no longer my priority. at that time it was family, travel, photo and work. hampir2 nak hantar borang balik semenanjung and ready to work kat KK mana2. But atas nasihat Mr Tee yang visited kapit masa tu, then i decided to come back to Kuching. It was excited in t...

assalamualaikum it has been indeed a very very long time since i written something in this blog..due to time factor, mood factor and macam sibuk tapi tak sibuk pun sebenarnya, sebab tu rasa agak malas sikit nak menaip walhal, actually, sebenarnya, banyakkkk gilller nak cerita...about travelogue yang tertangguh nak dikongsikan...India trip, kinabalu trip, japan trip (Yattaaaa....i made it to Japan!!!!....Mechhhhaaaa sukiyanen!!!!) then about the last farewell to Kuching... Yaaa (dengan mood sedih dan keberatan), i finally wave goodbye to Kuching..my comfort zone.. I am now in Kubang kerian kelantan. Or should i start to call myself - I am master student of surgery in HUSM, first year, nice to meet you! The road surely gonna be tough. After long thoughts and persuasion and motivation by bosses in Kuching, I finally agree to take up the challenge. I even feel more determination after the trip to Kinabalu and Japan yang ada mengubah my perception of me as a general. Ceeehhh...

I haven't been blogging for sooo long in view of my chronic fatique syndrome has progressively worsening. I am NYHA class 3 and twitching a muscle causes my heart runs wildly fast. I mostly filled up my non-working time with activities like watching FRIENDS sitcom, Anime or Runningman and recently I revisiting House MD. I think it is pathetically awesome. Of all the episodes I have watched (I have them from Season 1-5), I seem to have like and favor Episode 21 Season 1 - Three Stories House MD, Season 1 Episode 21 = Three Stories Synopsis = In this episode, House had to take a class of student and he started by giving 3 case scenarios of patients with similar presentating complaint:- right leg pain. Case 1 = a middle aged farmer had a sudden pain while fixing his fence Case 2 = a young volleyball player had sudden pain during practice Case 3= a gentleman (portrayed by House as Carmen Elektra) a golfer and a drug addict Lets go by case then:   Case 1 When House star...