Dear Aishah




Is it because of the fever?

I edited my Raya pictures few days ago. Yea only since few days ago after Day14 of Raya. In view of "unforeseen" circumstances and due to chronic fatique syndrome, then the delay. However, Ureshi na!!...

How I wish I can turned back time to that day. The days when all of us together. The days when I was at home with my love ones. Unlike here. All alone with very bad internet connection. Huh.

When I saw Aishah's picture, my niece, it reminded me to the statement she gave that made me speechless.

"Kak Wani, satu hari nanti Aishah nak jadi macam Kak Wani"

She told me that one day she wants to become like me.

My reaction was?
Why? Which part of me you wanted to be? Which part of me that you look up for?
She too wants to become a doctor.
Shouldn't I be happy?
Why shouldn't I? Should I?

"Hmm..Ok" I said silently.

I am not sure what she sees on me. Am I a good role model? Anything that I did or doing is worth to be followed? I think it is good enough if she wants to become a doctor. I will sure guide her well. Better since I know which road should be taken and which road should not. It should be easier for her. Should.

Just hope that is the only thing she sees on me. Having the thought that she may sees me as a very "strong" and "independent" woman and what not will make me feel guilty. I never planned to be a role model to anyone. I don't have the good characters to be followed.

Bottom line is, don't follow me, don't idolize me, but be better.

Looking at Aishah reminds me of myself. I am too like Aishah have my aunty Papa as my idol. Haven't I told you how i wanted to be like her.
She is the most superb, cool lady I adore.
Everything about her is everything I wish I have. I want to be a very successful lady in a professional career, cool, machoist and humble.
I wonder what she feels if she knows that I have her as my idol.


So dear Aishah, it will be very interesting to see how things go from here. I have witnessed all of you growing up and I am anticipating the next few years ahead. Even though I wish all of you to never grow up but I can't help from stopping you to grow old. I will of course support you all the way.

Piece of advice. Life ahead is not getting easier. Things are getting worse everyday so be strong and move forward. I will guide you whenever I can.



Comments

Anonymous said…
Kak wanie I've only read your writing about me. It's so touching! Thanks for wishing me luck. I hope I can be a doctor same like you.
November 23, 2014 at 4:41 PM
Anonymous said…
Opppss. ..me jus now - aishah ;)
November 23, 2014 at 4:42 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Favourite patient??

It is so not right to categorize your patients. Difficult? Manjalitis? Kurang Kasih Sayang? Compliant? "That" patient? Ya I know. And I do know that we are not suppose to favor patient as well. Because we are professional who work with good etiquette; not to be bias or biatch. However, when I have someone whom I have been managing for quite sometimes, and he has been a very good patient in term of compliant and courtesy (plus cute =P), I can't stop myself from having this feeling. Feeling? Feeling that I'm going to miss him so much. Knowing that my ward rounds will be dull without him. I am talking about an old gentleman, who has been in the hospital more or less A YEAR!!!..Yup..He has a TB and for his case it is tricky to manage. As if it has been mutated to a new strain. Because of that, he has been in the hospital (Kapit and Sibu) for nearly 1 year. If you meet him, he looks like a very healthy strong Ibanese. He doesn't look sick. But...Sigh.. Always tease hi
Read more

H.E.L.L

Image
first of all.... I'M BACK!!!! ! The beginning of the new posting aka first day in hell. It was suck as expected. The tagging days just horrible. Tiring mentally and physically and i couldn’t wait for this to end. Anyway, what am i talking about. Its hell. Hell is not good. Always bad. In the nutshell, if i can put in 1 word to describe my life in paed for the past 10 days as tagger, the word is HELL. some of my colleagues are very efficient and nice to work with. Some are REALLY slow. But who am i too judge. I am still junior to them. My medical knowledge has evaporated since i left the posting. I couldn’t remember how to interpret the ABGs and the most common ABG abnormalities i found when i was in medical were either overventilated or metabolic acidosis. I was told by my MO to buck up my ABG knowledge because it was unacceptable since i am now a 4 th poster. Which by right, according to the old system, i should be a MO by now. Damn. And blur is still my middle
Read more

dating scan

Image
having trouble in making decision whether to date or not to date someone that asked you out? maybe i can you help. i received this trough my email few days ago. it is interesting to find the questions asked that lead to your decision. example. most people may think that once you date, you are going to end up with sex. hence the first question is very important. huh. since when dating is equal to sex? I must be aging then. i've tried this. i end up out dating if only the guy is paying!!!..yes i am stingy. and i can't tolerate smoker because they are stupid, those who eat human meat and gay. thanks huh.
Read more