The one with the Ramblings

Taking care of OPD can be mentally and emotionally challenging sometimes. Especially if you are drained out from your sleepless eventful on call and have to continue working the next day to get scrutinize by 100 strangers. How would you feel if:- 1) A patient came to you with sky high blood pressure and sky high blood sugar and to know that he or she didn't take the medications at all because he or she thought that "i feel very well now". it still fine if you miss 1-2 days, especially if you ran out of stock (still not acceptable because you should come to collect you medications BEFORE it finishes), but it was so irritating if the patient did not take them for a year!!! i wonder how he could survive without having stroke or heart attack. God is so merciful. 2) A patient came to you complaining all sort of pain or illnesses that are not even related. "Dr, i have a stomachache" "Dr i also have headache" "Dr my ear also in pain" "Dr i have...

listen carefully to him..."he said the dragon was heartless but why he stabbed in the heart?"...then who killed the dragon then?...could it be that the dragon died due to excessive laugh by watching their stupidity?...or could it be the unicorn?

Will you change about yourself or will you change your principal? For someone else? In what extend will you ever think of doing that? Should I? For example, I like to remain unknown, remain anonymous. So that i can walk freely and do whatever i want without worry. If i act stupid, people will only say, "Yeah, like that one girl try to jump from that tree but managed to land on that pile of boxes" Instead of, "Yeah, like Dr Wani last time......." But, when public somehow notice you, it was uneasy. When people say hi to you from all direction, and the worse part is when you couldn't recognize or remember who they are? And they know you as the doctor. My principal was " once you get known by the people at your workplace or the town you stay, its time to move out" Looks like it is not applicable in Kapit. I think i have met half the Kapitan here only in 3 weeks of working. I don't want to move out just yet. I haven't explore Kapit that well. But de...

i experienced my first medivac ride yesterday. Thank God i made it. At first the feeling was...mixed. Excited, happy, nauseated, worried and then blank. I sent a text message to my close friends, and to know how they feel for me who is about to embark into a awesome scary journey. "Just to let you know that i love you so much and forgive me for all the stupid cute things that i have done. I'm saying this now because less than 1hr i;ll be in the medivac escorting a patient to Sibu!!! First time dude. So keep your eyes on d news. Love u all. Haha" That was exactly how i told them. Interesting. Here are their replies 1) "Jgn lupa amk gamba, ok =)" 2) " Jaga2 check helicopter tu.....cari lambang decepticon" 3) " Kau jgn mcm2, skali btol2.abis ko" Reading all these, making me love them more. Haha, they know me better than i do. The first one had faith in me and knew that i going to enjoy the ride The second one was a bit retarded but since the per...

Everyone has their own secrets. sejujur2 manusia pun, mesti ada sesetengah perkara yang tidak mahu dikongsi. Badan sendiri, pendapat sendiri, tiada hujah yang boleh melawan. Kenapa nak berahsia? Malu? Segan? Atau takut? Adakah ianya satu stigma? Tidak mahu dikutuk masyarakat? Jikalau...... 1) Aku HIV positif dan aku berahsia perkara ini kepada isteriku kerana....... ya sila isikan tempat kosong itu. Kerana aku pun tidak faham. Jika rahsia yang sebegini, masihkah anda menerima kenyataan " badan sendiri, pendapat sendiri, tiada hujah yang boleh melawan"? "Bukankah kite di negara bebas? Diri aku, aku punya sukalah. Kenapa kau perlu nak sebuk?" Boleh terima tak? Ideologi bodoh itu? Kalau.... 2)Aku bekas banduan, pernah ditangkap kerana merogol banyak gadis. Kenapa nak berahsia? Malu? Takut? Ya ku malu. Sebolehnya ku tidak mahu memori ini dalam hidupku. Bukan niat berahsia, tapi niat untuk melupakan. Mulakan hidup baru bagai bayi baru lahir. Aku mahu mencorak hidup baruk...

i still remember when i was in A+E posting, all the patients i saw i always pushed to Polyclinic for follow up and review. it is actually a way to save your ass and share the burden with others. To make sure that patient has continuity of care and receive a good health service. But the truth was, we couldn't think straight and to make sure we did not miss anything, let the PK people sort it out. It is an art. like Taichi. Sharing is caring? "ala, macam ni jumpe kat polyclinic je. takde pape pun" "ok, your temperature had decreased and now your son looks much better, we see you again in polyclinic in 1week time" " you try this medications first, if not ok then see again in PK in week time" I pity those people in PK. So here i want to apologize for taking all those for granted. It backfired on me again. To see about 100patients in one day is something ridiculous. Suboptimal care. You need physical strength to write double as normal, sharp mind to pick up...

i kept on this tab open for more than 2 hours... i want to write something... i want to share something... but i don't know what to write and which story to share Day 3 at Kapit..it started with a fear of a new place, fear of independent, fear of responsibility, fear of "what if". But i always keep my mind clear, i am not doing this for myself alone. i have to protect those people that i love so much. besides, this is the journey that i have chosen. no one to blame but me. so keep your head up, straighten your back and move with the flow. maybe the journey that you are going to embark may have surprises waiting for you. so let see about it. So far, i kind of like it. Openess. Let yourself to be seen. Make yourself transparent. Am I transparent? Am I? There are certain things i believe is best to share. It best to let it all out. Sometimes there some people may not like your way. Too forward. Too honest. Honesty is still the best policy. But its better that way because peo...

"Mama knows how to hook her bra!!!" As usual i took Mama for her bath today. She is now more independent. Likes to take her own bath and brush her own teeth. Which took twice as long. Therefore, she doesn't like bath because it was to tiring for her. Since the stroke, she doesn't wear her bra as she is housebound. But today, since we are going to have this little 'kenduri' or party, she decided to wear one. Little of my knowledge there are few types of bra. And Mama's is the one where the hook is at the front. I never have one. Mine will be the normal plain ordinary not fancy boring not sofisticated bra. So, i tried to help her to hook that but with difficulty. As if it has this super trick to put them together More complicated than the rubiks. Inpatience with me, Mama slapped my hands, rumbled few foreign words and did it herself, in less than 10seconds!!!!...And she gave me this sinister smile. " See, I could do better than you" That's what...

This post will be the reply for the last post; wayang . The Runaways. Remember Cherrie Bomb?...Wondering how the song came about and hit famous?. Then watch this movie. If you are a fan, i mean die-hard fan, like you've been to all the concerts or have all the CDs or cassettes, yes it was worth it. I am not a fan of Runaways, but i do like Joan Jett. I love Bad Reputation, Hate Myself For Loving You. She is one hard rock chick!!. Love the hair too. That's the reason i wanted to watch this movie because of Joan Jett. It tells you how the legend was born. Its about how the band was started and how they handled the fame and glory and the drugs and the lesbo things and led to the break-up. Cliche. Cliche. But again what do you aspect from this autobiography kinda movie? I never knew that the vampire chick, Kirsten Stewart could be more macho. Dakota was all grown up and now has boobs and can kiss a girl. Want to watch them removing their filthy garments? "All my life i want to...