The one with the Ramblings

I haven't been blogging for sooo long in view of my chronic fatique syndrome has progressively worsening. I am NYHA class 3 and twitching a muscle causes my heart runs wildly fast. I mostly filled up my non-working time with activities like watching FRIENDS sitcom, Anime or Runningman and recently I revisiting House MD. I think it is pathetically awesome. Of all the episodes I have watched (I have them from Season 1-5), I seem to have like and favor Episode 21 Season 1 - Three Stories House MD, Season 1 Episode 21 = Three Stories Synopsis = In this episode, House had to take a class of student and he started by giving 3 case scenarios of patients with similar presentating complaint:- right leg pain. Case 1 = a middle aged farmer had a sudden pain while fixing his fence Case 2 = a young volleyball player had sudden pain during practice Case 3= a gentleman (portrayed by House as Carmen Elektra) a golfer and a drug addict Lets go by case then:   Case 1 When House star...

Honestly, I am not really bothered of anything that is related to politics. As some of other people who share the same thinking like me would say that Politicians only talk bullshits and are bunch of posers that makes the Organization chart looks impressive. I used to think it such a way. Not until I realize how important Politics and Politicians in our lives now. Finally, I understand why Babah so heat up talking about this years and years ago. Thanks Babah, I see the points now. It determines how our country works. Those Representatives we had chosen in the election will then be responsible in creating a country we all the citizens or rakyat think it should be safe, economically stable, with excellent education and health systems. In other word, an Awesome country to live in. Let say I soon will start my own family, isn't it important to know that the country that I live in is safe? so that I don't have to worry of building a secret underground room just in case we will...

It is just another shatty day for me at work. Super duper busy with ERCP with lots of data collection need to be done and lots of scans to discuss. Unstable and sick patient. Post call and sick partner. To make things worse, i am oncall today. But A little message made my heart danced a bit. An offer from a distant friend to join in their backpacking trip to New Zealand. A little bit of info about this friend 1) i know her from my mother. My mom and her mom are friends. And they are not like old school besties that still contact each other up till now. They only recently know each other because they shared the common interest; cats. In malay we called it like "besan" or in laws la because we married out cats together and produced end products like Sally and Tom. Biasa la moms like to talk about their children so then i know her. We become friends through msg and facebook. 2) up till now i never met her in person. So when Mimi asked me to join her to New Zealand, i felt a ...

H ow are you feeling today Zawani?   This was asked in Facebook when you want to upda te the stat us. I went numb. Think really hard then went bla n k. Ngaaaaa..Troll face . I had lots of feelings. Lots of things ha ppened and it all came at the same time made me acted funny.  I was motivated this morning  so i came to work quite early than usual.  Then i got an gry to a houseman for being so blur but turned very "sister-ly" to the other one. I fel t happy when seeing pa tie nt is walking back home happ ily Felt hopeless when yo u know that your patient is dying but you can't do anything t o help . Felt gra teful for things that happened to me that is not happen to others. Felt lo nely when others have partne rs and love ones Felt annoyed when ann oying people making ann oying gestures and annoyi ng statements Felt e xtra superio r to people that is inferior t o you   and felt stupid an d demotivated whe n seeing patient dete...